How to make friends in college: 8 tips from real students
How to make friends in college: 8 tips from real students
Is one of your biggest concerns how to make friends in college? You aren’t alone. Every college student wants to find their people who they can comfortably confide in and enjoy spending time with. Keep reading to learn from some real University of Northern Iowa students about their experiences making friends in college.
How to make friends in college
Have a positive outlook on making friends
If you go into your college experience believing you can’t make friends in college, you may find it more challenging to foster new connections. But if you believe that you will make friends and you put in the proper effort, you’ll be more likely to leave your time in college with fulfilling relationships.
“When I was a freshman, I was very nervous to make friends here at UNI,” said William Palma, a third-year student majoring in computer science. “I had the belief, however, that I would find meaningful people, and I was able to meet great people with this positive mindset.”
Even if you didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, have the belief that college will be different. “This is a fresh start for you, and you have the ability to control your college experience,” said Meggan Barrow, a third-year student majoring in comprehensive secondary science education.
Be present
It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly scrolling on your phone. This is especially true while you’re in a classroom waiting for a lecture to begin. Challenge yourself to be in the moment and off your phone. For Carissa Demings, a senior accounting and business analytics student, this is one way she has figured out how to make friends in college. Even while she is walking to class, she tries to avoid being on her phone. “People are more likely to approach you or talk to you before class if you aren’t occupied with your phone,” she said.
Remember you aren’t alone
Whether a person is introverted or extroverted, the thought of making new friends in college will be a little nerve-wracking. “I remember feeling very nervous about how I might be perceived if I was the first to start a conversation with someone new,” said Samantha Robinson, a senior majoring in communication sciences and disorders. “What helped me to overcome that feeling was knowing that EVERYONE is feeling nervous about the same thing. I quickly learned that most people starting college are looking around, hoping for someone else to start the conversation. By knowing that everyone is nervous about the same thing, it made me feel a lot better about putting myself out there and making new friends.”
Leave your comfort zone
Perhaps the most important advice you can take when it comes to thinking about how to make friends in college is to be willing to take risks. That may mean getting involved with a group where you don’t know anyone or showing up to a sporting event even though you don’t know all the rules. Put yourself out there! “Leaving your dorm room or apartment to get involved is the first, easiest step to making friends, even when you may not feel like it,” said Robinson.
“Be open to meeting new people and don’t hesitate to introduce yourself with someone new,” said Lizbeth Garcia Tellez, a senior majoring in strategic public relations. “Embrace the chance to connect with others!”
Put in the work
Friendship is a two-way street. It takes time and effort on the part of both parties to create a lasting relationship. Organize get-togethers with new connections such as movie nights or coffee meet-ups. Even if you aren’t in the same classes, asking someone to study with you is also a great way to further a connection. “Collaborating on study sessions gives us a chance to spend more time together and support each other academically, which deepens our connection,” said Garcia Tellez.
“With being so involved, it’s hard to block off time to make friends or even hang out,” said Barrow. “I have overcome this by allowing myself more breaks in my schedule and not going to everything possible.”
Be the friend you want
It can be hard to make the first move in a friendship by introducing yourself to someone new. But you can’t always be expecting other people to introduce themselves to you first. In general, you will make more friends if you treat others the way you would like them to treat you. “Even if you’ve found your group, be open to it growing,” said Madison Duong, senior majoring in marketing: advertising and digital media. “Invite others to join you when your friends hangout. The small action of including someone in your plans makes all the difference.”
Let your friends increase your connections
Often, when you make a friend, you will have the opportunity to meet their friends, too. This will multiply your connections in college. Don’t be afraid of mixing your friend groups or asking your friends to introduce you to more people. When everyone is helping each other foster community, knowing how to make friends in college gets a lot easier!
Be yourself
Whether you’re conversing with your dorm neighbor or meeting your intramural teammates, make sure you are always your authentic self. “I tried to be someone I wasn’t my freshman year,” said Caleb Brothers, a senior majoring in interactive digital studies and graphic technology. “I had to realize that if people didn’t want to know me for who I really was, what was the point? Don’t be afraid to be who you truly are. The friends will come, so there’s no need to hide behind a mask or a facade.”
Where to make friends
There is no shortage of places where you can make friends at college. According to students, some of the best places include:
- Orientation - Orientation is really your first chance to start making friends at college. Because it can be overwhelming, it might be a good idea to focus on just one or two people you could become friends with.
- Welcome Week activities - The first week at UNI is filled with all kinds of events for students. Take advantage of these opportunities.
- On-campus jobs - Whether you work in an office on campus or the dining centers, jobs are a great way to spend an extended period of time with other students.
- Classes - Try to converse with your classmates before and after class. It’s usually pretty easy to ask them if they’d like to study for an upcoming test together.
- Campus events - Keep an eye out for events happening on campus throughout the school that you can go to and meet more people. Read your weekly Panther Experience emails, check out the UNI Calendar and look for flyers and sidewalk chalk signs across campus. You can also follow various departments and student organizations on social media.
- Student organizations - Get involved with student groups right away. These are a great place to find people with common interests.
- Residence halls - Leave your door open whenever possible and look for other open doors on your floor. Don’t be afraid to stop by and say “hello.”
- Dining centers - Ask others in the dining center if you can sit with them, or if you see someone eating alone invite them to sit with you.
Make lifelong friends at UNI
Hopefully, these tips will help you flip your mindset from “I can’t make friends in college” to “I CAN make friends in college.” Remember that making friends gets easier with practice, so if you don’t feel like you’ve made friends in the first few days on campus, just keep trying! It will get better.
